Personal
Balance Sheet
This course has taught me to know
myself. This was not an easy task. It required that I self-reflected and
considered my ‘ideal self’ and ‘real self’ (Boyatzis R. E., 2006) . It required that I was honest with myself so
that I can truly know my ‘gaps’. If I
wanted positive change, I had to look in the mirror and see who I really am. Thus, I
conducted a sincere self-assessment (a personal balance sheet) that allowed me
to recognize both my strengths and weaknesses.
My distinctive strengths are the things that help me find
success and strengths that others see in me.
First, I’ll share a favorite quote of mine by Admiral James Stockdale,
an American hero and Medal of Honor recipient (I believe this quote sums up my
strengths). He said, “The test of
character is not 'hanging in' there when you expect light at the end of the
tunnel, but performance of duty and persistence of example when you know no
light is coming” (U.S. Department of the Army, 2002) . My strengths are grit, determination, perseverance,
and resilience. I believe these
strengths have enabled me to change and grow mentally and physically. As I have said before in my class discussion,
anything in life worth having requires sacrifice (‘cause if it was easy, then
everyone would have it!). It is one
thing to hope and dream and yet another to take action (and keep going). I believe the aforementioned strengths help
me do that.
My potential strengths are things I
could do better or more often if I focused.
For instance, I need to focus on being more proactive. I often feel as if I have to have my “back against
the wall” to perform at my best. It’s as
if I have to prove to myself (and maybe to others) that I am a fighter, that I
have the grit, determination, and perseverance to overcome. (The irony in this is that I willfully put
myself into the situation). It’s possible
that this may be an unintentional consequence of my need to find motivation. Another
potential strength that I need to put more effort into is being compassionate. I am compassionate but my compassion may fall by
the wayside when I encounter my own struggles and difficulties.
I believe that I have certain enduring
dispositions that support me to be successful.
First, I am guided by values and principles. My values and principles collectively is the “Northern
Star” that guides my life. These values
and principles dictate how I behave and act.
For instance, I am bound to the values of loyalty, duty, respect, honor,
integrity, personal-courage, and discipline to name a few. Second, I have a mastery orientation, that
is, I want to learn and improve so that I can be the best (to my ability) in
what I do (Donald, 2012) . In contrast, those who have a performance
orientation benchmark their growth and/or performance relative to others (Donald, 2012) . I believe that I am on my own journey – the
road I travel may be rough at times and my destination will not be as glamorous
as others is – but it is the journey that I have chosen.
As with yin and yang, there is a
duality in my self – as I have
strengths, I will also have weaknesses.
My weaknesses are those things that I don’t do well and I want to do
better. Although I mentioned that
compassion was a potential strength, I also believe that a weakness of mine is
that I am not compassionate enough. I
may find it difficult to put others first when I am also suffering. I hold onto a misguided narrative that ‘If I
can find the strength to overcome, then so can you’. However, I realize that the strengths I
possess may not apply to another person and he or she does need help. Another thing that I desire to improve is my
intellectual courage. To have
intellectual courage means two things.
First, I must be able to address and reflect on ideas, beliefs, or
viewpoints that are different from my own (Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2015) . This will help with my mindfulness, that is,
awareness of my environment and others (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005) . Second, I must not “passively and uncritically
‘accept’ what (I) have ‘learned’" (Foundation
for Critical Thinking, 2015, p. para. 2)
A weakness of mine that I want to
eliminate is self-doubt. For a long
time, I have struggled with the thought “Am I good enough?” I understand that to overcome self-doubt that
I have to renew my relationship with self.
I must remember my strengths and know that I am worthy. I cannot let another’s opinion of me skew how
I see myself.
I understand that my ‘personal
balance sheet’ will always have assets and liabilities. As much as I would like to rid myself of all
my weaknesses, I know that it is not possible.
After all, we are imperfect beings. Yet, I believe the key to my success – to live
a noble and worthy life – is ultimately having my good outweigh the bad.
References
Boyatzis,
R. E. (2006). An overview of intentional change from a complexity perspective. Journal
of Management Development, 607-623.
Boyatzis, R.,
& McKee, A. (2005). Resonant leadership. Boston, MA: Harvard
Business School Publishing.
Donald, B. (2012,
May 10). Retrieved from Stanford News:
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2012/may/shape-achievement-goals-051012.html
Foundation for
Critical Thinking. (2015). Retrieved from www.criticalthinking.org:
http://www.criticalthinking.org/pages/valuable-intellectual-traits/528
U.S. Department of
the Army. (2002). FM 7-22.7, The Army Noncommisioned Officer Guide.
Washington D.C.: Department of the Army.
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